Monday, January 14, 2008

Jackass X-Treme Game Contestant

New Work in Progress

8 x 10" colored pencil on Ampersand pastel board

Last week was supposed to be a great jumping off point for me to begin working on my new goals for 2008. I was ready for my son to go back to school and to begin to regain some ground which is always lost professionally during the holidays. Well, twas not to be.

Instead, I participated in my own form of X-treme gaming: pot diving. What?!, you say. Well, I tripped and fell face-first into a clay flowerpot. Big flowerpot; broke it to bits, too. We're still not sure how this happened as I do not remember much and the doctor says I have a very nice thing called accident amnesia. He says, trust him, it's a really, really good thing. I do.

After being knocked unconscious and my husband calling the ambulance (the fire truck came, too, lucky me), I was whisked off to the hospital because not only was I bleeding a lot, but both arms were numb. Many tests and five stitches later, I was cleared to go home.

Nice, huh?

While healing up nicely from my facial wounds, my neck, shoulders, arms and hands aren't faring so well - they all work fine, just hurt like hell. (I have a very high tolerance for pain having delivered three babies without anesthesia and running a marathon, so you know I mean it when I say it really, really hurts.) The doctor thinks it may be nerve damage - gad - and therefore could take some time to heal.

Here I must add that I am extremely happy and lucky that I was not hurt more severely. Doc also says it could have been SO much worse. I am counting my blessings.

Though I am very, very grateful that I live in a time of wonder drugs and extraordinary pain medicine, I can totally understand now why drug addicts do not do a lot. (I never did drugs in high school or college like some other people I knew back then; but now I have first hand knowledge of what all the fuss was about, along with an understanding of why drug addicts aren't highly functioning members of society.) I am able to get a little work done during the phase where the drugs just begin to kick in and dull the pain, but right before they make me totally blotto. So bear with me, I may be a little behind for a while, but I'll try to post something here for you to see as often as I can until I'm 100 percent.

I have had to laugh at the whole ordeal because it is truly a funny and absurd way to hurt oneself. I have convinced my young son that I am a ninja warrior now because only ninjas can break clay pots with their faces (don't think he really believes me). My older kids have tried to get me to watch some godawful show called "Jackass" which I could never watch all the way through and hated immediately, but I now feel totally qualified to participate. I have also compiled a list of X-treme game ideas for those of us who don't care about our limbs, digits, backs or faces:

  1. Pot diving (explained above)
  2. Tree sliding: competitors race to climb a very tall tree and then slide down all while wearing a bathing suit.
  3. Horseshoe catching: first made popular as a drinking game at family reunions in the south.
  4. Blindfolded Woodworking: competitors finishing this event with all their digits, wins.
  5. Uphill mowing: same as above.
  6. Over the handle bar dismount: For bicycle enthusiasts who are new to hand braking.
  7. SSSS: Slippery Stair Sock Slide. (Most people have participated in this event without ever entering a competition.)
  8. Swinging from the rain gutter gymnastic event (no safety net or reachable ladder nearby): Competitor who can hold on the longest, wins.
  9. Screw-driver-in-the-socket endurance event: Competitor who can let go first, wins.
  10. Broketoe Steeplechase: Night run through a dark house. Competitors who can complete the course without swearing out loud wins.

I think I'll just sit out next year's competition.


Serena said...

OH NO!!! Rhonda, I'm so glad that it wasn't worse but, my goodness, you poor thing! I sustained a back injury five years ago from a bad fall and I had nerve damage so I understand to some degree what you are going through. I still get the pins and needles feeling down my back on occasion when I've aggravated it in some way.

I do hope you make a swift recovery.

Had a giggle at your X-treme game ideas. OUCH! lol

Serena said...

Btw, your new work-in-progress is coming along beautifully!

Quilt Knit said...

Rhonda! ((( Circle of Healing Angels Hugs )))! Oh my! You are some Ninga! That Flower Pot was a real mean pot of dirt. I am so thankful it was not worse. As I have had classes in Karate, I fully understand the doctor's concern. That is death blow to the nose, I am so glad you smushed that mean ninja pot before he executed the death blow. Way to go Rhonda!
Now, this must have started the day I read Maggoe's blog about ginea pig eyes. She posted pictures of tribbles and I made fun of them as longhaired Rats. It is the year of the Rat. Well , I slipped on my Cats comb. No damage, just scared real good. But have you seen what happened to Maggie? I will assume you were unconscious. She was attacked by a ninja sketchbook pencil. Yep, stuck through her sock and foot. No, mention of medical care. Just some laughter at her pain. Serene , (((circle of Healing Angels Hugs ))), backs are ptescious.

For the electricity- I grabbed a 440. Did not loose consciousness, saw the tunnel of White light.
Did the tree too, fell out of a pine tree, all the way down steep hill embankment. Did bicycle to, only I was on back, the driver went as fast as she could and hit a bump, to this day I still see the tires of the car and the gravel. The scar I have to this day.

Thank goodness for blessings. Where ever They come from to keep us safe.


Jo Castillo said...

Rhonda, this looks and sounds painful and dangerous. I'm glad you are recovering. Whew.

I read your comment on Maggie's blog.

Quilt Knit said...

Hi! Hope you are feeling better. I love all the work you have been doing lately.
Did you read " fur in the Paint" blog? They got burgled. Yep, their dogs woke them up. Read Gayle's blog for the details.
I believe this to be terriost plot on Artist this week. I am scared to read another blog.
I just have to make sure everyone I read are ok.

(( circle of more Healing Angel Hugs))


Quilt Knit said...

Well! I want to send ((( Circle of Healing Hugs))). Maggie wore herself out standing on Her foot at the CPSA, DC. I know you must still be worn out and sore all over. I am so sorry! I was hoping this was just a nightmare dream of mine. I have been having fun though. Both my sons at home with me. Killaurin is out of Iraq. Looking towards Turkey. I was hoping for Tradoc.