Thursday, September 27, 2007

My Timeout

The Wrestler
Colored Pencil drawing
Sometimes when life gives you lemons, you just can't make lemonade. Instead you just have to pucker up and learn to deal with a very bitter, sour taste for a while. Which is what I have been doing for the past week or so; hence my lack of blogginess.

My son, who posed for the Wrestler, has decided to enlist and did so last week. He will be leaving for training two days before Thanksgiving. (Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out......)

Coping with his decision has been and is such a turmoil of emotions for me and therefore, has made it very difficult to be creative right now. Solitude is so necessary for an artist to create unless your mind is racing; then being alone is not good. Not good at all.

As in some of my past posts, I have shared that I have a huge need for control and order in my life. So, when things are completely out of my control, I clean, purge and organize. Trust me, you don't want to talk to me when I am dealing with difficult emotions, but you do want to turn me lose in your house! I have cleaned out closets, my studio, organized my pantry, kitchen cabinets and given away old items I no longer need. I have had to stay very, very busy, but not quiet.

My son has always been a warrior, I guess. He always dressed up as an "army guy" even when very small; he still gets together with other grown men to play paintball for hours and hours. This is something he has always wanted to do. One half of me would change this in him; the other half would never do that. But, I am beginning to deal with his decision a little bit better each day and expect to be making more work soon. So stay with me. I'll keep you posted. Here's how I've been feeling lately and I hope you can understand.


Colored Pencil Drawing



Alison said...

I'm sorry.
Just take one day at a time!


Rhonda Bartoe Tucker said...

Thanks for the kind words. I'll try very hard to take your advice.

Quilt Knit said...

Dear Rhonda: Please come over to my small group in ebay. M-MOCA:Military-Mini Original Collectible Art.
We are small. It is hard for Military families. It is hard to talk. Here is a little of my military background. Documented. My cousin Walton, signed the Declaration of Independence, He received a Captains field grade rank. Great GG Granddad lost His arm at Chickamauga. My Uncle has a photo of being in the Pacific with a snake you would not believe. Then a cousin dropped in on Paris from the sky, My Father and His brother were both in WWII, My Father was a POW. Nephews were in Vietnam. It was I who made the decision to put my sons in JROTC. No one to blame except a teacher that threatened to fail them in Gym class because their Father now a Retired Coach. Both lettered in Sports. Some how because I never tried to make them Super Stars - the Gym teachers were going to teach me a lesson. The Father has been very successful Coach. JROTC, you do not need Gym. Gym teachers squashed. Then there was ROTC and the idea of scholarships. My eldest saw the ROTC through. My youngest did not, because He wanted to distance Himself from His brother.
I think He regrets not being in The Uniform. However, My youngest Brilund was an unarmed security guard for their College. Let me tell you, He dealt with some really tough issues.
My only brother was a lifer 23 yrs and a Master Sgt., also the Brother-in-law was a lifer 23yrs Master Sgt. One brother-in-law paid his medical school by being in the Air Force.
Now, with all this background- this is the hardest thing You will ever Hear! MOM, I am going to be fine. I even got to hear those words from My Father, who had said the same words to His MOM, as a young man. When He was told Captain Killaurin Roberts, finally got his orders for combat duty in Iraq. It has been hard from the start. As a parent that has tried to visit Her son at his bases - I have seen so many, --- faces forever in the night --- Seeing His close friends and holding them so dear. Capt. K was home in July -August. The last day I can send a letter is Oct. 15th. They are coming home by Nov-Dec. They have done such tremendous work. I know first hand Our young peoples strength and knowledge of the price to be Free People. email is great! But this was not supposed be in Our Childrens World.

((( Circle of Military Hugs)))

Nicole Caulfield said...

The Wrestler is your piece!? That is such a strong image - big belated kudos.

Gosh I don't know what to say about your son enlisting. As a mother, I would be so worried. I think a lot about our soldiers and just how young they are and the way they grow up so fast.

Serena said...

I understand some of the trepidation you must be feeling Rhonda although it hasn't become a reality for me yet. My son has big plans to join the army here in Australia. He has had this yearning ever since he was a little boy and while the protective part of me wants to scream NO, as hard as it is for me, I must also support his dreams and goals. He says he wants to make a difference in this world. I keep hoping he will become distracted by other career options but, if the time comes where he does sign up, I know I will feel enormous pride but I will also carry that underlying concern for his well-being. My thoughts are with you. (((Hugs)))