When We're Fragile

Yes, I know, I know: Long time, no see. No excuses. Just an explanation:


First, I have been working, making new art and finishing old pieces that are lingering in my studio. I currently have 6(!) works in progress within view. (I read books the same way - several novels, audio books, short stories at the same time.)


Second, I have been ruminating on some big decisions regarding my work. Here are just some:

• Should I branch out and show some other work NOT done in colored pencil?
• Is it time to switch media to more oil (i.e., more money)?
• Should I stay in my art coop or is it time to move on?
• Should I attempt to show my work at other galleries?
• While wanting to teach colored pencil and drawing classes, how will it negatively eat away at my studio time (which is SO precious).
• What other avenues are available to me as an artist?

Those are just a few things mulling over in my head - constantly. Yes, I could probably do all of the above; but I want to do whatever I choose very, very well. (Oh, the curse of the Virgo perfectionist!) And, how will I do all of these things while juggling many, many other family responsibilities. (Unlike Maggie Stiefvater, whom I admire SO much, I am not the Queen of the World or Super Girl; I know my mortal limitations.)

So you see, I have been pondering some big changes and that brings up number 3.

Third, whenever I am faced with big changes (the biggest for me is leaving the co-op), I can spiral into the abyss of depression. Long family history topped with the fragile ego of a creative spirit is a legacy I have dealt with for all of my adult life. It is a fact of my life, albeit a sometimes shameful one (why do we continue to perpetuate this!), and I know will probably never just disappear. So, once in a while I "go under" and eventually emerge.

So here I am emerging.

This drawing I just completed last night and it suits my current mood perfectly: intact but fragile. Here is "Fragile Hold", colored pencil on 8 x 10 Ampersand pastel board.

Finishing the Dandelion

Finally beginning to feel like my self again...thank goodness. I am not a patient patient! Thanks to all of you who have sent me notes and get well wishes. Very much appreciated.

While finishining the recent dandelion drawing, I thought I might show you how I have been finishing my drawings on pastel board. (Many people are experimenting with this support right now and there are no right ways to do it; this is just what I'm trying right now.)

The drawing below is the final drawing stage before burnishing (blending). As you can see, even though I have applied many, many layers of Prismacolor colored pencil to the board, the grain shows through. While you have the option to call your drawing "done" here and it well could be, I have decided to push it and play a little more. What the heck, right?

Drawing before burnishing.

To burnish colored pencil on pastel board, you have several options, as you do on paper, but I choose to drybrush using cheap hog bristle brushes which I have trimmed down to about 1/4 inch. I also clean and dry the brushes frequently with solvent when the color builds up in the brushes. It's very helpful to me to use a drafting brush and clean off the particles kicked up by the burnishing as I go.

And here is the finished piece. Because I worked until the sun went down and wasn't able to get the photo quality I wanted, I still hope you can see the change in color saturation and intensity after burnishing.

Don't be afraid to try new, experimental techniques with your colored pencil drawings. If you are harboring that fear of the unknown, get over it! Sometimes when I want to work "outside the box", I'll do what I call a "small draw"; you won't have as much time, effort, or money invested but you can still play. The Ampersand pastel board can be purchased as small as 5 x 7" and relatively inexpensively. So, go on and play a little!

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go. - (T. S. Eliot)

First One

"Make a Wish"

ACEO

2.5 x 3.5" colored pencil on paper

SOLD

Here's the first one. Let me know what you think. (I managed to get this done with four kids in the house. Ain't I something!)