As a nation, we have not shown our best side to most of the world lately; but the news I heard today really "took the cake", "was a Whopper", and almost made me "bust a gut" (bad puns; you'll see why soon). I think, no matter your political slant, most people would agree on the fact that the new proposed law in Mississippi to make it illegal for restaurants to feed obese people is silly and, doggone it, just plain embarrassing.
To Everyone Else on this Planet: Most American's with half a brain want to apologize for a few of our cousins who legislate (rule?) Mississippi. They just aren't the sharpest knives in our country's drawers.
BUT, if this idea should EVER become law, here's what to expect:
- Every time you enter a restaurant, you will trip over stacks of shoes, purses, coats and other garmets shed as people weigh themselves on the scale by the front door.
- There will be mandatory weigh scales on American highways - not just for trucks anymore. Your vehicle will be tagged as to whether you can enter a drive-thru without breaking the law. Should you break this rule, you will be arrrested and sent to a fat-farm. Your vehicle will be sold to help pay for the "obese" law.
- Individual restaurant seating (i.e., in face-front rows) to prevent skinny people from passing food to their fat loved ones and friends. (Remember your assigned seats in homeroom?) Monitors will move between the rows with rulers to whack the hands of anyone caught cheating.
- No carry out or delivery ever again. You'll have to be seen, inspected and watched as you eat.
- Little brown youth uniforms will be worn by all fast food employees given the task of policing this law. They will have whistles. (Did you see "The Sound of Music"?)
Just imagine the the fat politician, the chain smoking restaurant manager, or the teenage kid behind the counter, who can't make change, getting to decide who's fit to feed or not?! Please! Just what we all need, another reason to pass judgement on another human being.
There is currently a "Letter to America", falsely attributed to John Cleese (but I still like to imagine hearing him read this anyway because I have loved him since discovering Monty Python as a kid) that since Americans have been acting really crazy lately, we have lost our right to our independence.
Based on today's news, as a nation maybe we DO need an intervention and a good talking to. God Save the Queen!